If Only
by MidnightGrey
Summary: Description: One Shot. Sometimes we dream everything is going to be okay, but life is not fair and we don't always get our way. Old habits die hard.


Hermione decided that she was not going back to it. "This", is not what she signed up for. The truth is she was really really tired of his behavior, his attitude; she has had enough. But right then when she made up her mind, that it was over, there he was, soaked wet from the rain, sad face and looking miserable. He had run after her to apologize, to remind her that she was his sun. _"What now?",_ Hermione said turning around. _" I just need you to listen to me for a second, please"_, Malfoy said. Hermione didn't know weather to give him a chance or not. She knew what he would say, he was going to make it all better and within a week everything was going back to the trash like always. But she couldn't resist the curiosity, she had to know what he would say, she needed those words to add to her complain and she said: _"You have one second Draco, but trust me when I say that I've had enough."_

Malfoy didn't know what to say; he just knew he needed a chance. He loved her so much and he knew he was doing a very lousy job showing it. He had to give it a try; she was just too precious to let go. And so he said: _" I know I've been the biggest jerk on the planet and that right now you don't want me near you. I also know that I've been putting you down and disappointing you. I'm not giving you the treatment you deserve." _And right then he was interrupted by Hermione who said: _" If you know, then why on Earth are you treating me like a piece of shit, why are you acting like I'm a fucking accessory that you can carry whenever you want? If you are being enough of a man to admit that you are a total jerk, then be enough of a man and care. You know what, I really don't want to listen to you admitting your faults, saying you are sorry, and doing it again next week. I'm done."_

Malfoy kept calm, he knew that she was upset but not to this extent. "_You promise to listen to me", _Malfoy said. _" Please just let me finish, and I'm done then I'll accept your decision, but just listen to me and stay quite." _Hermione looked at him. Malfoy waited, and when he saw that she was just standing there waiting for him to speak he continued:

" _Sometimes I don't know how to show you how I truly feel and I know that sometimes I just use this ' I don't care attitude' with you, but that is just a mask. I am guilty of everything you've accused me of. I'm guilty of being disrespectful to you, I'm guilty of being rude to you, I'm guilty of taking advantage of your kindness, I'm guilty of preferring my gang over you, I'm guilty of believing that I'm right all the time, I'm guilty of being the cockiest bastard in the planet, I'm guilty of letting others influence me, I'm guilty of everything. But trust me that I'm sorry, and that I promise that will never ever be like this again. I'm going to change for you, I'm going to be the man you deserve. I'm going to be that person that you need me to be. I'm going to be a better man for you and I just want you to deposit a little grain of your trust in me and I swear that I will never let you down, because I don't want to wake up one day missing you to realize that it was me who let you go. I know I'm not perfect, and that you aren't either, but I also know that you try to be perfect for me, you sacrifice yourself for me, you deprive yourself from things and experiences for me, to make me feel better but I don't appreciate any of that. I promise you that, that is going to change, that I want you in my life and that you make me a better man. I promise I will take care of you and treat you like the princess you are everyday, not only three days a week. I promise I'm going to be there for you, spiritually and physically when you need me. I also promise you that I will learn to sacrifice things for you because I know that you deserve better than me. Because to this day, I've been the biggest asshole on the planet and I know that if I keep being an asshole you are leaving me and I don't want you to leave. In fact, I want you to stay so bad; that we will made decisions together. Im willing to get rid of that cockiness, I'm willing to quit on my unhealthy habits, because I know that losing you is the most horrible thing that will happen to me right know. You've put up with my crap, you've put up with my rudeness, you've been there in the good times and bad times, and I've treated you like an option. I will understand if you don't want to forgive me, but I know that you love me and believe me only God knows how much I love you too"._

At this point, Hermione was in tears. Not only because what he said had touched every single corner of heart but because he was finally admitting that he had made a mistake and that he was willing to redeem himself. She was also crying because he was appreciating her efforts and taking into account that he was willing to sacrifice himself for her. She was delighted she was beyond herself. It was there that she realized that it hadn't been real, it was all a dream. Malfoy never apologized, her never admit he made a mistake. Hermione woke up from her dream, dreading the fact that it hadn't been real, that as much as she tried she couldn't get him to care, she couldn't get him to understand because the truth was that for him the magic was gone a long time ago.


End file.
